we thrive on skinny bitches.

i was the most laziest person today. well, i did get up today around my usual time but decided to go back to bed. so i guess that didn't really count. i eventually made it up before noon.. though barely.. i watched a lil tv this afternoon.. i watched lidia bastianich make caponata and joe, her son, sear some tuna steaks. she made cooking eggplant look like it was no big deal. which it isn't i suppose but i still have yet to make it.. i've been wanting to for a while now and even bought one a couple o days ago to pressure myself into cooking it, but in my fridge it still awaits a hot pan and digestion. then i watched a bit of project runway which i've never seen before. i kinda got into the fashion part.. seeing what people can do in terms of making clothes.. it prolly was the season finale because the whole show was basically a fashion show of the three finalists' designs. then at the end they chose the winner. in any case, it reminded me about wanting to get a sewing machine. what was off-putting though was how much of a knock off it is of the show top chef. i think that was bravo's first reality/contest show.. and those two aren't even the only ones on bravo's lineup. they delved into some hair styling contest and some interior design one too. what i like though is how art/design is being appreciated in the media.. what i didn't like about the episode/fashion show of course though were the sooper tall models. i don't keep up with fashion shows much.. or at all really...i am actually though interested in seeing one in the flesh.. but.. when will the day come when we have respected fashion shows with women of all sizes? ..as is reflected by the real world. .now, in my opinion, there are two types of fashion. one that exhibits clothes that are totally forms of art, that no one would be caught dead in walking down the street. and then there's the type of fashion that people could feasibly wear.. in the world. maybe they should reserve the gaunt giants to the former type of fashion shows and allot more variety to the latter.. i mean, wouldn't it be a more interesting challenge to make a diverse group of 'average'-looking people look good/well-fitted than a homogenized, unrealistic one? i know this is not a new topic but c'mon heidi. u wanna make a difference?. use your power/status and make one.. in other news, shocking headlines that women in hollywood are too thin! gasp. apparently there's a size double zero? and sizes on sets range from zero to two-- two for the heavier-sized actresses. and the new cast of 90210 are dropping weight on practically a weekly basis. ..this was all on et today.. stupid. meanwhile the announcing voice exclaims all of this info in a rather excited voice. woohoo. we've got news to share, news you'll be o so shocked to hear so will tune in, news that'll get advertisers to endorse our show and from which we can profit.. skinny girls, perpetuating unrealistic ideals and reeling in the cash.. i knew they were good for something.. ummm.. hmmm.. how the hell did i get on this topic?.. uhhh.. then i saw martin yan guest appear on one of tyler florence's shows. it looked like one of his older shows.. he was doing an episode on dim sum treats including dumplings.. it's interesting when u see/watch something then it makes u want it too. ohmmm.. putting skinny-tall out of mind/ideal.. dumplings though are ok.. so.. later [just now actually] i let the mini-hankering for dumplings get to me. i can make them but sometimes i just get in the mood to eat other people's food.. today was one of those times.. damn consumerist within.. so. i went out to go get some. i got half steamed, half fried. they were pretty good actually. satisfying. ..when i asked the woman if it was made with msg she gave me a funny look. i'm not really sure why, to some extent. i mean, maybe it was an 'intrusive[?]' question but c'mon now. consumerists have the right to know what they're consuming, duh, especially if they're paying way more than whatever it's worth.. in this thrifty-spender's/don't-care-2-eat-msg's opinion.. and so now, here i am. not really tired since i got up so late and did nothing.. other than have an opinion.. or2. hmm. tomorrow's gonna be a long day..

grievance.

they say [hu]man[s] are the most intelligent things on earth.. perhaps.. but so too are they the most frustrating to deal with..
i work a job that serves people. serves them. i like the level of activity i get from it but at times it can be a lil too draining. not so much physical as emotional.. serving has shown me pretty hainus sides to people. and i don't mean murder or rape or anything to that degree. but seeing, or worse yet experiencing, how people can and do treat others on a regular basis in the most mundane of situations such as sitting down to eat, which we all must do multiple times a day, can really do some wear and tear on one's being. or at least mine.
the day didn't even start off wrong with a customer but with management. i've learned: get on the wrong side of your manager then consider yourself fucked. people can be assholes. and if they're in the position of power then multiply that ability tenfold. i won't get into the details but let's just say i'm not good with dealing with nonsense. it's hard for me to swallow and doesn't leave a good feeling in my stomach [or anywhere for that matter] afterwards. but you do [or try to do] what you have to do to keep your job that brings in some income and insurance and a schedule.
..i had this ancient woman order a salad today. as she was ordering she was shaking a lil such that it looked like it took a lot of effort/energy out of her. i was a lil worried she might keel over just holding the big menu.. but for the most part she was fine. she made me run back and forth a couple of times, but whatever, she survived this long.. umm, whatever.. so she exclaims when i check up on her after a few bites, this is a half?? i gently smile and say yes, they're very generous. old people don't eat that much and get overwhelmed when large amounts of food are in front of them. so they say. so i've seen. whatever. i let her be. she later waves me over with what i interpret as a sign in the air for the check so i take her bowl away, which is totally licked cleaned, and place the check presenter on the table. she then yells at me and says she doesn't want the check but wants to see the dessert menu.. woah geez.. alright, i mistook your signage. i'll get a dessert menu. damn, lady... so i give it to her and give her time to look it over. i go back to the table to see what she wants. she laments that she's having a hard time deciding.. because of the calories listed. i wanted to say, eh, she should live it up in the time she's got, but rethought that thought and thought that prolly wouldn't be appropriate. she wanted the hot fudge brownie sundae. she modified it only ordering the brownie a la haagen daaz minus the fudge and whipped cream. u know, to save on the calories.. alright. whatever. so i don't end up running the dessert to her. the food runner does. she gets it and seems fine. i politely drop the check and she seems fine. later, then, all of sudden as i'm passing by she yells at me, with most of the brownie gone sitting in a puddle of the remaining melted ice cream, can i get a spoon??! i mean, how am i supposed to eat this without a spoon??. she was referring to the melted ice cream. .. ..what the fuckin fuck, lady?? could she not just have simply asked for a spoon?. ..may i please have a spoon?.. can i please get a spoon?. do you mind getting me a spoon?. um, i think i need a spoon.. there a million ways she could have asked without getting all apeshit on me. i sucked it up, swallowed it. went about clearing the table i was about to before she had her lil tantrum and made her wait just a little bit longer. honey, the ice cream's melted. there is no rush...
that was just one incident. i am just amazed at how self-centered people are.. no, i take that back, i know they are, but how/to what extent they can behave in public/to others?..
i try to learn from my job how to deal with situations and people like the abovementioned. and for the most part, i think i'm getting better at it.. but i have to say, today was one of those days.. rare, but one of those days nonetheless, when i just wanted to say i what i really wanted to say and just walk away.. from it all.. everybody just got to me today, both customers and staff. my problem is is that i let it..

a random brief.

bullets.
--i attended a wedding this weekend of two people i have faith will actually last. this was my fourth and it was interesting to see how each one is so different yet elements are so similar at the same time.. despite hearing all the gripes about what a headache planning one is, and i'm sure it's true, don't get me wrong, i still can't help fantasizing planning my own.. what would i do..?.. ..am i turning into little girl or what?.
--i think i'm still tired from friday then the weekend all the way til now..
--britney won three awards at the mtv mva's?.. go brit brit.. i'm in full support of her and her impending comeback.. sorry folks, that's just the way it is..
--i still have yet to catch up on the elections.. amongst everything else, righ?
--i watched gossip girl tonight. this kid from work was talking about it all day today. he was so excited.. doing a countdown by the hour of when it would show.. i admit i too was pretty obsessed with it last season. but think i've gotten over it.. for whatever reason.. this season, thus far, which includes two episodes has been pretty race-y.. more sexed up, including older folks having affair with supposed high school teenagers.. now, in the old 90210, the actors played high school students but were definitely in their 20s.. for some reason, it worked for them.. i don't know, maybe it's because it's supposed to be the fantastical world of the wealthy, but this cocktail sipping characters for some reason are just not convincing me.. though, they are inarguably pretty to watch..
--i like photography.. or taking pics.. whatever u want to call it.. i just like it.
--dilemma of the hour: ok.. so i've tutored this girl since last year. then did some concentrated sessions with her older sister the end of this past school year for her finals.. i have pretty good repore [sp?] i think with the fam.. now the older sister wants tutoring on a regular basis alongside her sis.. now here's the dilemma.. my rate is decently/relatively low and i kinda want a raise.. nothing huge, but one nonetheless. given the current state of the economy and the fact that i like the girls and still want the gig.. do i ask?. if yes, how do i ask?.. i've asked one person already and he told me i should ask but lie. that is, say that i have other people to tutor and i have to consider who is more worth my time.. or something on the lines thereof.. like, give a reason why they should give me more money.. i hate lying though.. it just makes life more difficult. in my opinion.. if you have any opinion on the matter, then hesitate not to share..
--i bought a lot of fruit today.. this year fruit has really sucked.. gripe.
--i have two movies now on the theater list.. i still haven't seen dark knight. and someone told me today that i should go see vicky something.. sounded good from what she was telling me..
--i should prolly go to sleep now cause i'm tired though i don't feel like ending the day just yet.. once again, the kid within me emerging..

my first double.

[unedited].
i know people do it all the time. but not me. today was my first. twelve hours pretty much straight. nothing kinky or anything near the order of, though.. that would make for an interesting piece, huh?. yeah, i'm sure.. actually it's quite the opposite. i'm talking about work. i got and left there at 11-- the former in the am, the latter in the pm. i pulled my first double.. and considering the running around that was involved, i was pretty consistently busy both day and night, i'd think i'd be tired at this point but.. i'm not really.. sitting though helps.. but i'm really just prolly feeding off the rare-occasion adreneline and/or perhaps it won't hit me til tomorrow-- just when i need to be in good spirits and chock full of energy.. isn't that usually the way life hands you things?. and yes, the glass is half empty, duh. we all know that i know that.. in any case, so work is obviously on the brain at the moment. and based on the trend of the day i wondered whether along with the horrendous traffic i spoke earlier of, the turn of labor day brought back the cheap skate patrons that really know how to get under my skin or just annoy the shit out of me.. i mean, don't go out to eat if you don't want to spend the money. times are hard, for sure. and we're all trying to make ends meet.. including the ones who serve you.. i had a woman sitting at a table of fourteen, a business lunch which she i'm sure wasn't paying for.. well, she fretted over ordering a DP [diet pepsi] based on whether it was free refill. i had this girl ask me how many shrimp there was in the jambalaya. i had a man order a red wine. when i asked him which one, his response was whichever was the cheapest.. yellowtail shiraz, i believe it was, which i was actually a lil surprised about since yellowtail advertizes all over the place.. doesn't it?.. my last table though was by far the worst.. two women. i greet them and ask what they want to drink. they have the drinks menu fully unfolded and the tell me they don't know. ok, fine. legitimate. we do have a decently extensive menu on drinks alone. i come back, they don't know. i come back: one california cosmo, one reg cosmo. it took that long just to make the drink order, now they needed time for food.. derrr.. grrrr.. come back. don't know. come back. ummm. i think we'll start with the sonora egg rolls.. come back, ready to decide on entree?. no. come back? no.. don't even come back. i wait.. then finally come back. one of the women is almost reluctant to order. she asks where the app is, prolly preplanning to get the app before ordering the main.. they've been here before.. i have never seen them but i can tell by the way they're ordering.. bullshit that they can't decide/don't know what to get.. really, they're just trying to buy time and sit there as long as they can and doing so by stalling to order.. when i finally got them to-- your app'll be here in a couple minutes followed by a will-you-just-order-already??-stare.. one of them was like.. eh, i don't know.. is this spicy. blah blah.. fine. valid question. UNLESS you already know the answer. which she/they both clearly did.. so they're sipping their cosmos and have a sonora egg roll app on the way. they then order the mango tandori, the garlic cream, and the crab cakes. three entrees and the app between the two of them.. they prolly didn't even have the opportunity to get upset about the calories on the menu since they prolly already knew what they wanted before even entering the store. in any case. it took forever for the sonora egg rolls to come up.. they eat. they hail me down to order another drink-- two lemon drops, without the need of a menu, and make sure there's sugar around the rim request. again, no menu onhand.. ahem. they eat more. eat eat. i set down a dessert menu as they start to slow down... i ask if they want dessert when they're done.. they say they might consider it.. and at that point i want to shoot myself and transfer the table far far away from me despite all the work i already put into them.. when i go back they're ready to pay.. thank god, you know?.. and i guess at that point they decided they spent enough time in the joint and paid relatively [to themselves] quickly and then they left. thank god..
.end.. i was prolly going to continue on, but was tired and was going to go back but didn't get a chance. so o well. abrupt ending.. so neeehh-xt..

proud to be a 'today's woman'?.. i think not.

well.. today is officially the end of summer as i see it, marked by the return of horrendous traffic.. practically everywhere.. ironically, though it was the hottest it's been in a while, which is something i can't complain about.. but that's maybe not such a surprise since as i remember last year the warm weather stuck around for a good amount into [what i think of as] the fall and didn't return til late, earlier this year.. i'm thinking climate change, shifting our seasons some but what do i really know about the state/evolution of our environment?.. thus i won't speak of the matter any further..
..so i haven't been really keeping up much with politics, not that i really do all that much usually but i did a lil during the primaries.. i guess since then, since hillary was ousted out of the rat race, i've lost interest.. i really wanted her to be in the running.. in any case, so as one who isn't putting forth much effort into knowing what's going on, here's what i do [sort of, maybe] know.. ok, questionably: hurricane gustav may have or did delay some convention, i forget which.. more recently, palin's 17 year old daughter pulled a 'jaime lynn'.. stupid huh?. i'm talking about the expression.. then this morning on the extended hour of the today show i saw something even stupider, if that's even possible.. umm, apparently it is.. hoda something and kathy lee host this extended hour and it's truly painful to watch or even to think they air that shit.. i usually have it on one of the tv's i watch in the morning though because i like watching nbc's weather forecast that airs during the regular today show [i just think it's generally the most accurate in the area].. in any case, so as i glance mindlessly over to the tellie, i see the next segment is being introduced with a 'today's woman' flashing across the screen or something like that.. then when they move into talk show mode the subtitle indicates they're talking about palin's speech last night, which is/was supposed to be a big deal.. so big apparently, that i didn't watch it.. but i have an excuse.. uhhh, i was at a soccer game.. errr.. whatever. so, i'm not listening to the tv i just see the picture [video] part first to decide if i want to or not.. and so i at first think, huh, maybe this'll be an interesting topic of convo.. i'm sure everyone is/will be talking about/critiquing her speech today. instead, though, the 'today's woman' discussion wasn't about the content of her speech but was to inform all of its viewers [majority women] that palin's glasses are a 'must have'.. a must have.. a must have..!!.. ??..!!..??. ..that's when i mentally puked my brains out and turned my focus back to staring at the wall.. much more productive..

bitching about numbers..

i attended this meeting today which i was told was supposed to be a 'focus group' in which we had the opportunity to voice our opinions about various issues concerning the restaurant. how the meeting panned out however was not what i had anticipated. unfortunately.. the ceo's/cofounders conducted the meeting and instead of being seated 'round-table' we sat in front of the two as an audience would be, watching a presentation. and presentation is pretty much what we got. in my humble opinion. the focus of the 'discussion' was about the calorie counts on the menus. we were presented with how upset they [the big wigs] were about the requirement/law and how unfair it is and why are chains singled out [vs. fancy fois gras serving restaurants]? bitchmoanbitchmoan. and how extensive efforts were made [and may still be] to curtail the regulations so on and so forth. they're upset about the numbers on the menu devaluing their products and in the end the heft of their wallets. though in not quite so few words. it's just not fair-- over and over they exclaimed. ..and the thing is, part of me can sympathize. i mean, i know that when people at work get in my way of doing a good job, that can ultimately screw over my income. and it's like: get out of my way. don't fuck with my money, man. BUT. and as you can see, that's a big but.. but what about social responsibility?. an issue that i seem to have to grapple with time and time again at this job.. the meeting more than anything else was a taste/reminder of.. the corruption?.. i know it sounds harsh but it's to make a point.. but of the corruption of business/money on the well-being [or lack thereof] of fellow man/men. most of the 'discussion', it felt like, was focused on salad 'dressing on the side' and how the goddam dressing was the.. ahem, THE ONLY culprit of the gastronomical, i mean, astronomical caloric numbers.. and trying to figure a way to tweak the presentation of the numbers to make them seem not so bad/guilt-inducing.. urrrg.. midway through, i wanted to pull my hair out.. and if you haven't seen me recently, i have pretty long hair. i'd look pretty weird without it.. so anyway there was some discussion about serving salads with dressings on the side and listing the caloric info with the salad dressing separate and by tablespoon, which for sure would create the illusion of fewer calories, because who would eat their salads of such ginormity using all but a mere tablespoon? then there was also mention of testing low fat/fat free dressings. the low fat suggestion i was ok with though the fat free one made me shudder. dressing is fat... not 'fattening' per se but a fat. decrease the amount but don't eradicate it dummies.. it similarly goes into the realm of fat free margarine and fat free half and half all of which might be a lil less artery clogging but pumped with a boatload of unpronounceable chemicals which i'd be afraid to touch let alone put in my mouth and swallow.. in any case.. i could go on and on about salad dressing but think i will bite my tongue [or fingers] for the time being and save it and dedicate a whole other piece about them for another time. ..what they failed to mention/recognize were the other ingredients in the dishes including handfuls of rice sticks and wontons, which are essentially deep fried bits of refined starch.. and.. portion control. half size salads are enough to serve as entrees and full size salads are, well, forget about them. they can feed a whole village and then some. but seemingly reluctantly and likely ignorantly they didn't seem to consider the idea/suggestion for more than a moment before disregarding it and moving on. ..they were upset about the 2000 calorie daily value being listed as a requirement-- which by the way is listed on practically every item in the aisles and aisles of the supermarket. they weren't really looking to educate their staff about nutrition.. grrr.. they weren't really interested in offering a whole wheat pasta-- not that that would really affect calories but it would fiber-- nor were they at all interested in becoming a health food restaurant, the latter which i can respect because those places i think sometimes/oftentimes end up serving even more heavily processed foods-- faux chik'n anyone?. but why can't they be healthy[-er] and still taste good and as one of them put it still use 'food as entertainment'?. bitchmoan. they present themselves as taking the high road and 'dealing' with the situation now vs. later and hoping they are a step ahead expecting ALL restaurants-- whether a chain or not-- to eventually be subject to the requirement. ..in any case, this piece itself is admittedly a bitchmoan on my part. i just found it so irritating how irrational they were being, losing sight of the bigger picture as to why these laws are being enacted etc. it's not because the government has it in against them/chains but the chains especially, since they reach a larger audience/population, SHOULD be the first ones to take action. i mean, these guys/the company is always harping on the four principles they supposedly operate by, acronymed ROCK, which stands for respect opportunity communication kindness. i understand this as a means to keep things running smoothly [as best as possible] within house, but what about in regards to the clients/guests themselves?-- the bigger house? ..the joint already uses a lot of fresh ingredients which makes it such that they actually have a decent base/foundation to work from.. now if they can just first EDUCATE themSELVES and then take action in which both buyer and seller win then maybe it might give me hope in man/business once again, or for the very first time really.. that would be the day, huh?.

finally.. aboard the dicaprio bandwagon.

when i was a kid i used to watch a decent number of movies so i'm not totally inept when it comes to the products of hollywood, actors, so on and so forth.. but then middle school hit. something happened. who knows what?. and like my friend anna recounts, i said i was going through a phase, when she asked if i wanted to see a movie, as an attempt to be friends/hang out with me.. movies, perhaps not totally inept, but other areas i may very well have been.. in any case, that phase was a long one and i've recently, just this year?.. have wanted/started to take interest in film again. so, i've actually gone to the theater twice, both of which were free, but more so have been watching dvds.. i think i want to start to compile a movie list and perhaps write reviews.. i should prolly start that soon especially since the list has not grown too too big yet but still it's a big [according to my [lowly] standards] endeavor so i better hop to if i really mean it.. in any case.. the second most recent movie i watched was 'the departed'. i was confused for most of the movie and only started having a clue somewhere around the middle. it also wasn't a genre i thought i was in the mood for but again, somewhere around the middle, i started to really enjoy it. and enjoyed leonardo dicaprio's performance along with.. i'm not an actor or some movie critic buff but there was something about his performance that made you really feel for him.. i used to be a fan of him way [way] back in the day.. like, when he was in growing pains.. then he became this teenage heartthrob which then maybe made me lose interest in him.. time time time. then somewhere he grew up. and i suppose, along came 'the departed'. and you could tell.. it sounds a lil silly but his facial features are now more chisled.. vs. before when his face looked as smooth as a baby's ass.. not to sound vulgur or anything.. but immature he seemed/looked. now he's more grownup, which for him, works better for me.. but in any case.. i sort of fell for his character and his story and now him as an actor.. i checked out his filmography and it looks like he's been a pretty busy guy, with a movie or even two out practically every year and he's booked til 2010 or something crazy like that.. sidenote: can you imagine?.. having a schedule/plans for the next two years?.. i see it as sort of something to be desired.. because it means you've got work. and you're wanted. in any case. so the next day i rented black diamond.. i made it through the movie despite the horrors.. i didn't like it as much as the departed, for sure.. and i didn't really understand all the hype it got.. i didn't think it was o so amazing.. but.. i did merit the movie as an entertaining piece that has/had the power to educate the masses, a concept which i'm a big fan of.. for instance, you leave the movie thinking about how stupid diamonds are and quietly say to yourself, i'm not going to support this deadly/painstaking industry and i won't buy them dumb stones.. and boom, there you've got yourself 'behavior change' [buzzwords] and you've made a difference [theoretically].. ..but in any case.. clap clap dicaprio.. now i'll await his upcoming flicks and perhaps will catch him next time on the big screen..